The phrase “arrive early” has a whole new meaning.
It was a nightmare scenario. I was tucked away in a lactation space at the airport, a few minutes into pumping breastmilk for my daughter, when it happened. In the past, when I heard names called over the intercom, I would think: I’m sure glad that’s not me. This time, it was.
In this moment, I concentrated all my emotional energy to avoid dissolving into a puddle of pure anxiety. I knew I needed just a couple more minutes to finish up and avoid pumping again mid-flight. The plane wouldn’t leave without me that quickly, right? In my panic, I wasn’t so sure.
As I took those extra minutes, I could hear the buzz of constant new texts from my husband, but I didn’t have a spare hand, or spare time, to read them. Then, they called my name again. Around that time, I decided to call it good. I pulled my shirt over my head and dashed to my gate. I made it just in time, but we had the honor of being the very last passengers to board, carrying our bulky bags all the way to the back.
In this scenario, a variety of things went wrong, but the biggest factors were bad memory and timing. This was the first time my husband and I had flown in more than three years, thanks to Covid-19. I had simply forgotten an important detail: boarding happens about a half hour before departure. This was also the first time we had flown with a baby, and the first time we had flown while I was pumping breastmilk. These factors combined to create a whirlwind of chaos.
To add insult to injury, I had proven my husband right, at least in one regard. He initially thought flying with a baby had “bad idea” written all over it. He didn’t want us to be the conspicuous family creating trouble for the other passengers. Whoops.
My husband’s fear was certainly valid, but I also felt strongly about ensuring our daughter had the opportunity travel far and wide. Afterall, among brains of all ages, babies’ stand perhaps the greatest chance of benefiting profoundly from travel. Babies’ brains are highly flexible and receptive to novelty, and their interactions with other people and the world are the building blocks that shape their continued brain growth. From that perspective, babies are among the most important passengers, developing by leaps and bounds with every new trip — even if they get a bit fussy and noisy.
To work through our anxieties ahead of time, we considered a litany of nerve-racking questions. What if she cries the entire time? What if we need to change her diaper? What if she refuses to eat? What if our stroller gets lost or damaged? Should we buy her a seat? And if we do, how can we be sure our carrier will fit? These answers came eventually, through research and experience, including the one at the nexus of it all: will it be worth it? Even as I scrambled to my gate, pumping supplies in hand, I knew my answer was “yes”. My husband came around on this, too.
Now, as we prepare for our daughter’s first trip to Disney World, I’m revisiting our previous learning. I’ve summarized this learning in a convenient list of travel tips to help you fly with a baby and reduce your planning stress. After Disney, I’ll have a new set of learning when it comes to flying with a toddler. For now, here’s what we learned flying as a family from Des Moines, Iowa, to Clearwater Florida and Las Vegas, Nevada.
Don’t Disregard Advice to Leave Early
Given my track record, it seems appropriate to start here. Looking back on my mistakes, I think a good rule of thumb is to consider how early you would arrive at the airport before kids and add at least 45 minutes. At some airports, this might mean arriving almost 3 hours early. For us, in Iowa, that looks more like 2 or 2.5 hours before departure. This extra time allows you to breastfeed or pump in peace, change a diaper, and handle extra shenanigans while going through security (more on that below).
Buy Baby or Toddler a Seat
This may be an unpopular opinion, but we opted to buy a seat for our daughter on both trips we took during her first year. Why? Because the FAA recommends it as the safest option. Her seat also came with the benefit of an extra personal item and carry-on luggage, space we needed to pack breastfeeding supplies, diapers, and other necessities. Financially, it definitely wasn’t easy to see our travel cost increase by a third. But the safety factor outweighed our wallet. Be sure to locate the sticker that certifies your seat is approved for use on an aircraft. Airline personnel will check for this when you board.
Pay Extra for Seats Together
I wish this advice wasn’t necessary, but it’s often the only way to guarantee side-by-side seats. Based on my research, most airlines will prioritize seating children and parents in the same row together. But only four provide a guarantee, according to the U.S. Dept. of Transportation’s dashboard. These airlines are Alaska, American, Frontier, and Jet Blue. The Biden Administration has urged Congress to take action on this issue, but Congress hasn’t acted so far. To save money, we usually fly with Allegiant, and we pay the fee to avoid uncertainty and anxiety. Allegiant is usually the most cost-effective option, even with the fee factored in. But it’s always worth comparing with the four airlines listed above.
Prepare for Scrutiny
When we first traveled with breastmilk, formula, and baby food pouches, I felt underprepared for the extra fuss I would face in security. These items are subject to scrutiny, and this will often take extra time. Security usually pulls me aside to scan the items, and they don’t always communicate well about what they’re doing. In one case, it looked like they planned to put something in one of my bottles. Of course, they didn’t. But communication would have helped assuage that fear. Hopefully, these notes will help you mentally prepare.
Pack Efficiently and Shop on Arrival
Consider buying diapers and baby food at your destination, rather than bringing them. You’d be amazed how much space diapers take up! This step will also cut down on the scrutiny at the airport. And it may go without saying, but your hands will be full. So much fuller than they were pre-baby. For us, moving from point A to point B with everyone’s carry-on bag, the stroller, the diaper bag, my pumping supplies, my purse and, of course, the baby, was a constant struggle. I recommend using either a backpack-style diaper bag (this is the one I have) or a backpack as a carry-on, so you’re able to haul at least one bag hands-free.
Scope out Lactation Spaces
When it comes to pumping on the go, Mamava Pods are a game changer. They provide a private space for either breastfeeding or pumping. Before you head to the airport, download the Mamava app and familiarize yourself with lactation spaces on-site. Mamava will list the location of their pods, which are convenient and wonderful, as well as other spaces. I was pumping in a Mamava Pod the very moment my name was called over the intercom. Luckily, the pod was located just a short stroll (or, in my case, dash) from my gate. Aside from Mamava pods, I’ve always found either a nursing room or a family restroom at the airports I’ve visited post-baby.
Change Diapers Before and After
This may go without saying, but if your flight is short enough, do your best to avoid an in-flight diaper change. So far, we’ve avoided them altogether. If this ever changes, you’ll be the first to know how it goes.
Bottle Feed During Takeoff
If you’re bottle feeding, offer a bottle during takeoff to help alleviate pressure in baby’s ears. The bottle might also help calm anxiety and keep crying to a minimum. And it’s one less thing to worry about in the scramble at the airport before you board. I went into each of our flights with low expectations about how much milk our baby might drink. She was a picky eater during her first year. But her appetite surprised me. Looking back, I think feeding her in her familiar car seat actually helped.
Bring a New Toy
This tip, which I picked up from the blog Baby Can Travel, worked for us, at least temporarily. Our daughter handled flying pretty well, but we did have a crying spell on our first flight out of Des Moines. The novelty of a new toy distracted her for awhile, although she did eventually lose interest. We opted for a toy cell phone, since she’s obsessed with trying to grab ours, and I think this helped prolong her fascination. When she started fussing again, scrolling through pictures on the real phone finally calmed her down.
Gate Check Your Stroller
With Allegiant, there’s no fee to check or gate check a stroller. And gate checking is faster than traditional checking. You’ll bring the stroller right up to the gate, ask them to gate check it, and pick it up right after you exit the plane. The downside is the risk of damage compared with properly checking. To avert this risk, we bought an extra sturdy gate check bag. Be warned that we did have a bit of trouble finding a bag that would fit our Evenflo Pivot Xpand Stroller. This one worked, just barely. For Disney, we’re traveling with just an umbrella stroller. This will help us pack lighter, but we’ll need to carry her car seat separately. We’ll see how it goes and report back!
